Zac was whining in his disguise. "Why does Tay get bigger boobs than me?" He pouted in his lipstick and pushed his bra into place. He patted his hair, which had been curled and pinned into an up-do. He tugged at his underwear. "Man, how do girls DO this?"

"Zac, Tay gets bigger boobs because he's taller and because he's gotta help us get past the guards." He looked at Zac, tugging at his underwear. "Dude, cut it out. Only trailertrash chicks dig their butts in public."

"Sorry, I can't HELP it. It's these DARN pantyhose. They're givin' me a WICKED wedgy." He straightened his dress. They both looked at Tay, pouting in the mirror and applying more lipstick with disturbing concentration.

Tay was wearing purple leather boots, a black short skirt, and a lavender sweater. He had two barettes in his hair. He put a hand out with his eyes still GLUED to his reflection and said, "Oh YOU!" and giggled.

Ike backed away with wide eyes. "Dude! You're REALLY freakin' me out."

Tay looked at him and rolled his eyes. "Look, I have to be convincingly skanky so that guard will like me. And you two... Well, with Zac over here diggin in his ass and you..." He laughed. "Ike, you make a REALLY ugly woman."

"Ike looked at himself in the mirror. "I don't think I look THAT bad." He wore a long black skirt, black boots, and a green baby tee.

Zac suddenly grabbed his stomach with one hand and pointed at Ike with the other. "Dude, your BOOBS are crooked!"

Ike looked at his chest and his left boob was, indeed, higher than his right. He frowned at them and leveled them. He checked them in the mirror once more and pulled the mid-length brassy-red braids of his wig over his shoulders. He smiled. He thought he looked just fine.

"Okay guys." Tay gave a brief pep-talk. "Remember, we're sexy bitches, not trailer trash. Walk the walk and talk the talk. And don't LAUGH Zac, you'll give me away."

They emerged from the bathroom and sauntered to the front of the line for backstage. Zac cleared a path for them by bumping the girls to the side with his hips and saying, "Excuse meeee!!!" in a shrill and ridiculously high-pitched voice. Tay rolled his eyes, sighed, and followed. Ike laughed.

Zac turned when they reached the front of the line to make sure Ike and Tay had kept up. At the same time, he swung his butt around in an exaggeratedly feminine gesture and knocked a pleading Otown fan to the ground. They heard a loud "OOF!" and a thud and she disappeared.

"Hey sweet thang..." Zac crooned in the guard's face.

Ike cringed and shoved him. Tay made his way to the front and held his perky breasts up high. He hiked his skirt up to his thigh and cooed, "Hello there. My name's Tara..."

The guard looked him up and down, smiled, and relaxed a little. Ike flashed a hideous, big-toothed grin with lipstick on his teeth. "I'm Ellen. We LOVE Otown!"

Tay shuddered. God, he's one UGLY woman, he thought.

Zac interrupted loudly. "I'm WANDA!" Ike and Tay used superhuman strength to keep from laughing.